Biblical Ponderer Gifts

Noah falls asleep by counting animal pairs.

"And God said, 'Let there be light.'" "CFL, incandescent or LED?"

'I don't know, it just no longer feels that original.'

'We'll get these down pat first, and work out the details later.'

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

"He's angry that Eve got mankind booted from the Garden of Eden."

"....and next we have a same-sex goose couple with a civil rights attorney pair."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

'Please take your receipt!'

"Lord, thank you for guiding me through the whole 'evolution by natural selection' thing."

'When you invented vegetables, Sir, did you know that my mother would be able to fit them all into one garden?'

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

'I say we try it.'

"I'll have dessert first."

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'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

'I believe there's an unseen hand behind everything we do.'

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

Credulity, Superstition and Fanaticism.

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

Jesus wept

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

"How long has he been missing?"

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

'He's always looking for an argument!'

'You'll be going on a long journey this Christmas.'

'What did He do before he was God?'

God answers what He thought were worldwide prayers for peas.