Holy Ponderer Gifts

Bishop looking non plussed with a shepherds' crook for a question mark above his head.

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

'Please take your receipt!'

I know time is an earthly construct, but I still feel sleepy in the afternoons.

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

'I say we try it.'

"I'll have dessert first."

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"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

'I believe there's an unseen hand behind everything we do.'

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

Credulity, Superstition and Fanaticism.

'Confusionism'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

Jesus wept

'What did He do before he was God?'

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

Fortune teller sees impending doom

'You'll be going on a long journey this Christmas.'

'He's always looking for an argument!'

God answers what He thought were worldwide prayers for peas.

The End is Near.

"NO I DON'T THINK YOU NEED LEGAL REPRESENTATION WHEN SAYING YOUR PRAYERS."

Soren Kierkegaard

"He keeps watching over our flock. I think it's a stalker."

A psychic predicts the discovery of gluten.

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

"I'll have whatever they're having."

A self-filling prophecy.

"And God said, 'Let there be light.'" "CFL, incandescent or LED?"

Evolution of God. . .