Holy Ponderer Pillows

Bishop looking non plussed with a shepherds' crook for a question mark above his head.

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

'Please take your receipt!'

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

'I say we try it.'

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

"I'll have dessert first."

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The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

'I believe there's an unseen hand behind everything we do.'

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

Credulity, Superstition and Fanaticism.

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

'Confusionism'

'What did He do before he was God?'

'You'll be going on a long journey this Christmas.'

Jesus wept

God answers what He thought were worldwide prayers for peas.

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

'He's always looking for an argument!'

The End is Near.

Soren Kierkegaard

"NO I DON'T THINK YOU NEED LEGAL REPRESENTATION WHEN SAYING YOUR PRAYERS."

"He keeps watching over our flock. I think it's a stalker."

A self-filling prophecy.

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

"And God said, 'Let there be light.'" "CFL, incandescent or LED?"

"I'll have whatever they're having."

'I know we're laying up treasures in Heaven, but I still think you should talk to the Church Board about your pension,'