God Ponderer Pillows

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

'Please take your receipt!'

"Lord, thank you for guiding me through the whole 'evolution by natural selection' thing."

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

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"Why did God make fruit if he also made candy?"

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

"I'll have dessert first."

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

'I say we try it.'

'I believe there's an unseen hand behind everything we do.'

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

Credulity, Superstition and Fanaticism.

'Confusionism'

Jesus wept

God answers what He thought were worldwide prayers for peas.

"How long has he been missing?"

'What did He do before he was God?'

'You'll be going on a long journey this Christmas.'

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

'He's always looking for an argument!'

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

The End is Near.

"NO I DON'T THINK YOU NEED LEGAL REPRESENTATION WHEN SAYING YOUR PRAYERS."

"Well, it certainly explains why everyone's so nice!"

Soren Kierkegaard

'We have a strict dress code. Can't let you in without a straightjacket and tie.'

Various Birds of Pray.

"I'll have whatever they're having."