Divine Ponderer Prints

Bob finds God's wallet, and for one crazy moment, considers keeping it.

'Entropy already? You just made it.'

"That's just so God."

'I was afraid of this -- the evolution protocols are just confusing them.'

"No offense, but some of these could be construed as pretty extreme denial"

Gods plan for the shape of the world goes askew

'What kind of God would let things like this happen?'

Jesus wept

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

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'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

"Why did God make fruit if he also made candy?"

"I'll have dessert first."

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

'I say we try it.'

'I believe there's an unseen hand behind everything we do.'

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

Credulity, Superstition and Fanaticism.

'You'll be going on a long journey this Christmas.'

'What did He do before he was God?'

God answers what He thought were worldwide prayers for peas.

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

'He's always looking for an argument!'

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

The End is Near.

"NO I DON'T THINK YOU NEED LEGAL REPRESENTATION WHEN SAYING YOUR PRAYERS."

A self-filling prophecy.

"From the looks of things, I shouldn't have rested on the seventh day."

'What do they mean 'is borer a beast of the field'?'

"And God said, 'Let there be light.'" "CFL, incandescent or LED?"

'From creating stuff like this you make a LIVING?'

'I know we're laying up treasures in Heaven, but I still think you should talk to the Church Board about your pension,'

"It says God created heaven and earth, then there was light. Why didn't He do it the other way round, when He could see what He was doing?"