Divine Decision Ponderer Gifts

"From the looks of things, I shouldn't have rested on the seventh day."

"Then it's agreed. Judgment Day, whenever it comes, will fall on a Thursday, so that they'll get the long weekend."

"Why did God make fruit if he also made candy?"

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

'And my board approved this?'

Jesus wept

'What did He do before he was God?'

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

'Osgood was a theologian back on Earth, and he thought all this stuff would be allegorical.'

"Yeah, it's a sweet boat Noah, but you're still gonna have to start over."

'I know we're laying up treasures in Heaven, but I still think you should talk to the Church Board about your pension,'

"I think I'm ready to go forth and multiply."

"It says God created heaven and earth, then there was light. Why didn't He do it the other way round, when He could see what He was doing?"

Yahweh/Your Way

"While you've been making your mind up, the Early Bird special when up three bucks."

'Entropy already? You just made it.'

'It wasn't an easy decision for me to make. Lots of coin tossing went into it.'

"That's just so God."

'Welcome to the ultimate bottom line.'

In and Out.

"Trump's election victory was intended by God!"

Bored Angels: 'Now what?'

The Grand Scheme of Things: You are here.

"The algorithms that control your future say things are looking good. . ."

"Sometimes the best decision is not to make one..."

Struck Down by Lightning.

"And next time, make a decision and stick to it!"

'What kind of God would let things like this happen?'

'I was afraid of this -- the evolution protocols are just confusing them.'

Bob finds God's wallet, and for one crazy moment, considers keeping it.

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

'What about all these fish stories?'

'The books on decision making are either in aisle 2 or aisle 4...I'm not sure.'

Robert had everything a man could want - good looks - money - a real ladies man, but sadly born under an unlucky star...

'There's a 35 minute wait. However, if you're willing to sit in hell, I can get you a table immediately.'