Divine Decision Ponderer Pillows

"From the looks of things, I shouldn't have rested on the seventh day."

"Then it's agreed. Judgment Day, whenever it comes, will fall on a Thursday, so that they'll get the long weekend."

"Why did God make fruit if he also made candy?"

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

Jesus wept

'What did He do before he was God?'

'And my board approved this?'

'I recommend a second opinion so the HMO won't second guess me.'

'Osgood was a theologian back on Earth, and he thought all this stuff would be allegorical.'

'I know we're laying up treasures in Heaven, but I still think you should talk to the Church Board about your pension,'

"I think I'm ready to go forth and multiply."

"It says God created heaven and earth, then there was light. Why didn't He do it the other way round, when He could see what He was doing?"

"Yeah, it's a sweet boat Noah, but you're still gonna have to start over."

Yahweh/Your Way

"While you've been making your mind up, the Early Bird special when up three bucks."

'Entropy already? You just made it.'

'It wasn't an easy decision for me to make. Lots of coin tossing went into it.'

'Welcome to the ultimate bottom line.'

Bored Angels: 'Now what?'

"Trump's election victory was intended by God!"

"That's just so God."

In and Out.

The Grand Scheme of Things: You are here.

"The algorithms that control your future say things are looking good. . ."

"Sometimes the best decision is not to make one..."

"And next time, make a decision and stick to it!"

'What kind of God would let things like this happen?'

'I was afraid of this -- the evolution protocols are just confusing them.'

Struck Down by Lightning.

Bob finds God's wallet, and for one crazy moment, considers keeping it.

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

'The books on decision making are either in aisle 2 or aisle 4...I'm not sure.'

'What about all these fish stories?'

Robert had everything a man could want - good looks - money - a real ladies man, but sadly born under an unlucky star...

'There's a 35 minute wait. However, if you're willing to sit in hell, I can get you a table immediately.'