Divine Decision Analyst Gifts

Yahweh/Your Way

'We've re-branded.'

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

"Then it's agreed. Judgment Day, whenever it comes, will fall on a Thursday, so that they'll get the long weekend."

'Okay - who leaked?'

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'

"Lucky for you, you died during a bear market."

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

"So join me in prayer for those who are damned if they do and damned if they don't..."

"Why did God make fruit if he also made candy?"

'And my board approved this?'

Illogic Tree

Jesus wept

"Yeah, it's a sweet boat Noah, but you're still gonna have to start over."

"From the looks of things, I shouldn't have rested on the seventh day."

"We've seen all the data and crunched all the numbers, now, heads or tails?"

'Entropy already? You just made it.'

"OK, just between you and me: The free will thing? What was your angle in all that?"

Today's lesson: the plague of darkness

"This might or might not be a job for noncommittal man?"

Bad Decision Tree

You've Got Questions, We've Got Answers.

Ad Meeting With God.

"That's just so God."

In and Out.

'Welcome to the ultimate bottom line.'

'Now that the A level results are out a lot of kids are making choices that will affect them for the rest of their lives...'

"Are you a decisive type person?"

'I was afraid of this -- the evolution protocols are just confusing them.'

God systematically makes a decision.

"Proper flood defences were too expensive."

"Got any ID?"

'What kind of God would let things like this happen?'

Bob finds God's wallet, and for one crazy moment, considers keeping it.

'We've got a list of suspects in that Abel homicide.'