Religion Ponderer Gifts

'You realize, it may take us a while to get up to code.'

"I do hope you're here for the circumcision."

"I can't sue my insurance company because it was an act of god? Well, then, can I sue my church?"

'OK, so he's not praying to God but at least he's taking an interest in religion.'

"Ok, this is awkward."

"Uncorroborated Confessions are no longer admissible."

'You realize, these are going to lead to a lot of hypocrisy.'

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

Religion Through the Ages

Gift Cards In Hell

'Satan wants to meet you on Main Street at high noon.'

St. Peter to Darwin - "You can come in, but the book stays down there."

Noah's Ark Paper Airplane

'I only asked them if they would like to kiss my ring...'

'You're in luck. I just changed religions and am no longer morally opposed to filling this one.'

"We do pretty well when you stop to think that people are basically good."

Worship 10 A.M.

"If Hell exists, it's probably stuffed with Christians... Same as prisons."

"Did you leave space for a comments section?"

"Do you have a minute to talk about God?"

Welcome to the Valley of the Shadow of Death

"Consititutionally there's no bar to marriage. I'm C. of E."

"The point spread has nothing to do with it!"

New game: Discuss religion like religious conservatives discuss science.

"Lord, thank you for guiding me through the whole 'evolution by natural selection' thing."

Amish man looking at 'living in sin' greetings cards.

God is seen, dejectedly preparing his 'Godsends'.

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

Lawyer, bishop and devils in tub, "If you want to sue God I'm your man."

'The temptation of Christ'

"That's the trouble with crusades, they always drag religion into it!"

"How long has he been missing?"

'Hey, you can't win if you don't play!'

"If your god made humanity in his image, why are we not invisible?"