Rapture Ponderers Gifts

'It's been 3 weeks and still no rapture...I'm not waitin' that long fah you to pay yaw'r bah tab.'

Late BroomStick

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

"Only one of my lives was a bowl of cherries."

Prepper Dog

"Oh no, not another pandemic!"

'I can't shake off this feeling we're being watched.'

'...and please God, protect the social security fund for another sixty years.'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

George Santayana

'I tell ya Frank, if we find one of these babies big enough, we could live forever!'

"Well, son, in a way, I suppose Jesus was a trust-fund baby."

"There was a bright light and then a voice said: 'our menu has changed'."

Regular Confession and Express Booth.

Introducing Ed, The Nephew of God.

"I was in purgatory only briefly and they've been sending me email newsletters ever since."

"The last thing I remember is hearing the doctor say oops!"

'I suppose that it was inevitable.'

"You're on next. Break a leg!"

'No, it's not the Rapture - The kids next door got a trampoline.'

"It sucks being reincarnated as a snail, but at least I've finally achieved home ownership."

Eggs That Were Anagarms In Past Lives -'Unscramble Me'.

'I've thought the same thing myself. He certainly doesn't look like any of us.'

"Oh yeah – They really are forever – Cool huh?"

"Maybe it wasn't such a smart idea for you to have left everything to science."

A man, walking towards the intersection of ‘Easy Street' and 'Harms Way', runs into the Grim Reaper.

I have some really bad news for you.

Just a thought on nooses.

"It's my life line in case the rapture happens, so I'm not left behind."

'God wants to see you.'

'What's the pass-word?'

The indigo children.

This is your hell. Keep it clean.

"Boxing day is so boring."

"Reincarnation? Well, I used to be a bigly non-believer."