Destiny Ponderer Gifts

The Grand Scheme of Things: You are here.

"Tell me what you know about destiny." "It's running in the 330 at Ascot."

"The algorithms that control your future say things are looking good. . ."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

Robert had everything a man could want - good looks - money - a real ladies man, but sadly born under an unlucky star...

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

Your enemy is defeated by Fate

"I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer."

Experts through the ages.

'I say we try it.'

'I really don't know how you got here with your life line!'

"I'll have dessert first."

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

"Oh goody! It's just like the Columbian Exposition of 1893."

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

"Of course it's only prediction, we can't guarantee anything."

"So, is this a date with destiny?"

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

'You'll be going on a long journey this Christmas.'

'What did He do before he was God?'

'Eve ate the apple, and she's asking if you want to make it two out of three with oranges and bananas?'

Jesus wept

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

'He's always looking for an argument!'

"I see you coming into money, at least 50p for a cup of tea."

Fortune teller sees impending doom

'We're cutting you some slack because you just died but normally we frown on devil's food.'

Thanksgiving Turkey Fortune: "Why the silence?"

"I can't help thinking there's a book in this."

The End is Near.

Fortune teller describes to angler the size of the fish he's going to catch.

"You'll do laundry, you'll drink water...oh, and what's this? In the near future you'll clip your fingernails."

A psychic predicts the discovery of gluten.