Destiny Ponderers Gifts

I don't have anybody to blame for my destiny...

"I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer."

'I say we try it.'

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

"Oh goody! It's just like the Columbian Exposition of 1893."

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

"I'll have dessert first."

'Eve ate the apple, and she's asking if you want to make it two out of three with oranges and bananas?'

'He's always looking for an argument!'

Fortune teller sees impending doom

'What did He do before he was God?'

George Santayana

'You'll be going on a long journey this Christmas.'

'We're cutting you some slack because you just died but normally we frown on devil's food.'

Jesus wept

'The hardest part of being a street crazy is picking each day's sign.'

The End is Near.

Never mind spring. What do you predict for the economy?

"I burden you with the national debt, you burden your kids with it, and so on. . ."

Made It! Without getting one tattoo.

A psychic predicts the discovery of gluten.

Self Service Island

'Hi, my name is Eve. Where is the mall?'

Sun crashing into sea foils rescue attempt.

A self-filling prophecy.

Descartes's Demon

'Dang, that reminds me...I've gotta get back and post an entry on my blog.'

'And that's your idea of a desk calendar...'

'...Well if this is heaven, why aren't you using a Mac?'

'I didn't know I'd need a PIN number!'

Metamorphosis is coming.

"The future's looking bleak! Is that it?"

Clouds getting into angel's shoes.

"The only problem with Heaven is there's nowhere to hang stuff."