Paradise Ponderers Gifts

"And getting into the garbage on October six 1993 was that fun too?"

Next stop bloomingdales

'It's a match made in Heaven.'

'I didn't expect Paradise to be so literal...'

"Boxing day is so boring."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

The Artist

"I thought there would be bacon here."

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

"I'm learning to live with existence."

'We would like an unspoiled paradise, but with lots of shops.'

Ten Commandments

"WOW, we're on top of the world!"

"I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer."

'As I recall you were the one who told him that he couldn't take it with him.'

'My thesis was entitled 'Tears of a Clown: Irony or Paradox?''

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

"Great, now we're lost."

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

"Oh goody! It's just like the Columbian Exposition of 1893."

'We're cutting you some slack because you just died but normally we frown on devil's food.'

'Eve ate the apple, and she's asking if you want to make it two out of three with oranges and bananas?'

'I'd prefer it if the view was closer.'

A psychic mows the lawn.

"What's so galling is that you don't even realize how Earthist you are."

Never mind spring. What do you predict for the economy?

"Did you ever notice, the snow is always whiter on the other side of the glacier?"

Self Service Island

'Hi, my name is Eve. Where is the mall?'

"The arc of the moral universe."

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

"Nobody wants to hear our stories about death from natural causes."

'The rot set in when I started doing these things in my own image - my early stuff was better.'