Doomsday Ponderer Pillows

Sun crashing into sea foils rescue attempt.

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Good game."

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

Optimist

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

'I don't want this job. I worked all my life and retired. I like being retired.'

Experts through the ages.

"I know you've been together a long time, but I'm sorry... Your microbiome can't follow you in."

"Are you sure I 'can't take it with me'? I brought some for you."

"You think it's tough down there?"

'I really don't know how you got here with your life line!'

'I know you don't belong here, but if we let you go to Heaven, we couldn't not guarantee your safety.'

'I say we try it.'

"I'll have dessert first."

"We'll be single again in Heaven, right?"

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

"I thought I'd come back YOUNG!"

'I chose here since heaven won't allow you to take your bonus and golden parachute with you.'

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

"Has anyone seen my therapist?"

NOT COVID-RELATED tombstone

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

A man in a little rowboat goes to his grave.

'Tell me father, why do only 10% of women go to heaven? Because if they all went, it would be hell.'

Angel sees FIRE EXIT sign on trap door in cloud.