Fate Ponderer Pillows

'I really don't know how you got here with your life line!'

'Don't get your hopes up...the future isn't what it used to be!'

'Life is short, and then you fry,'

"I have some bad news and some good news..."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"Can you wait just a minute while I check my latest horoscope?"

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Good game."

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"Have you been playing dice?"

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

Rock - see you in a million years!

"Damnit—Every game ends in stalemate."

Totalitarian Humour

"Nihilistic customer service"

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

"Death coach..."

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

The meaning of life is to avoid falling rocks

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

'I don't want this job. I worked all my life and retired. I like being retired.'

"I know you've been together a long time, but I'm sorry... Your microbiome can't follow you in."

"We'll be single again in Heaven, right?"

A man in a little rowboat goes to his grave.

'I know you don't belong here, but if we let you go to Heaven, we couldn't not guarantee your safety.'

"You think it's tough down there?"

"I'll have dessert first."

"Are you sure I 'can't take it with me'? I brought some for you."

'I say we try it.'

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

NOT COVID-RELATED tombstone