Fate Ponderer Pillows

Thanksgiving Turkey Fortune: "Why the silence?"

'I really don't know how you got here with your life line!'

'Don't get your hopes up...the future isn't what it used to be!'

'Life is short, and then you fry,'

"I have some bad news and some good news..."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"Can you wait just a minute while I check my latest horoscope?"

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Good game."

"Have you been playing dice?"

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

Rock - see you in a million years!

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

Totalitarian Humour

"Damnit—Every game ends in stalemate."

"Nihilistic customer service"

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

The meaning of life is to avoid falling rocks

"Death coach..."

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

'I don't want this job. I worked all my life and retired. I like being retired.'

"I know you've been together a long time, but I'm sorry... Your microbiome can't follow you in."

'Took calcium supplements for years without paying for them.'

'I know you don't belong here, but if we let you go to Heaven, we couldn't not guarantee your safety.'

"I thought I'd come back YOUNG!"

NOT COVID-RELATED tombstone

"You think it's tough down there?"

"We'll be single again in Heaven, right?"

"Are you sure I 'can't take it with me'? I brought some for you."

'I say we try it.'