Nfl Skeptic Gifts

Football League - Concussions R Us.

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

"Misery, torment, N.Y. football"

"This is the little league. You can't negotiate a signing bonus"

"Well, really, there's nothing that would stop us from actually working. It's just tradition that has us drones lazing around."

'Remember young brave to always face evil without fear...To have our tribe on foam and underwear!'

"I admit saying England had no hope of winning the World Cup, me Lord, but it isn't treason."

"How do you know he was offsides? How do you know anything? Isn’t it possible this is all a dream?!"

"By the time I develop a true understanding of sand, I'll probably be forced into some sort of organized sports."

"He always get emotional when th super bow;'s on and the end of football season is finally here..."

"It's simple, really. You're a team member when you want something. You're an employee when I want something."

"I'm binge ignoring everything you're binge watching."

"I hate golf. There's something unnatural about a game where the lowest score wins."

'Big deal. I could win every race too, if I used performance-enhancing sugar.'

"Eh? What? Eh? I'm sorry, I dozed off during all that cross-field and back passing."

A couple of muskrats talk: 'Frankly, I've had it with hockey.'

"What kind of idiot gets suckered into something like that?"

'Amazing! You're the first patient I've ever met who gets blisters on his feet and pain in his back just by thinking of sport!'

'Here! Call the contractor. I don't want to hear any nonsense about goals, or touchdowns, or baskets. I want to see shovels! Lots and lots of shovels!'

Lonely Trump Rally in Tulsa

'Crickets? I mean cricket?'

What's with all the cameras? They're filming seniors for college field hockey recruiters. I'll never be good enough to get admitted. It's just a game. In the real world. No one cared you even played. Then why do they make us do sports? To take your mind off all the college pressure!

"Now isn’t this better than that silly Super Bowl game?"

'I can't decide which I'm least excited about...the royal wedding or the Olympics.'

'I'm using my eyes, how are you looking at it?'

'I said I was bored, not unconscious.'

'...You've got no game.'

'It's completely gutless. With all the money you save on speeding tickets it'll practically pay for itself.'

"Personally, I liked this place better before it became a sports bar."

'For the 100th time! I have never used steroids!'

'Look - decide. Are you going to launch an attack on tradition, or make a few bob?'

"Why do you like playing Bingo so much, Tia Carmen?"

"In a blinding flash, Norman suddenly realises the mind-numbing boredom and utter futility of the sport that is called golf..."