Spiritual Leaders Gifts

'Well, we'll have to move into town, then - We can't afford a wheelchair ramp!'

'Well, we'll have to move into town, then - We can't afford a wheelchair ramp.'

'Well, we'll have to move into town, then - We can't afford a wheelchair ramp.'

Only the weak need arms.

Please Seat Yourself

Thou Art Here.

'I think I've got it.'

"I've learned one thing: when an avalanche begins, get into the cave."

"No, I can't answer why children talk over films and then ask what's going on."

"If you really want to experience eternity...try waitin for global agreement on emissions reductions."

"Nobody talks about transcender issues."

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

God Sneezes Out Creation

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"Home depot."

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

Golfing Bishop.

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

At the 2021 Religious Games

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"All we have left is standing room only."

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

'So, what's for dinner ...a séance?'

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'