Faith Leader Gifts

'For more details or to comment, please visit my faithbook page.'

"May I pray upon you?"

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

God Sneezes Out Creation

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"Home depot."

Golfing Bishop.

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

"All we have left is standing room only."

At the 2021 Religious Games

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

"Whose idea was it to start with the Hallelujah chorus?"

Cleric with bible briefcase.

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

Priest

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

Two Men Discuss Ministers.