Faith Organizer Gifts

Organized Religion

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

A surprise in heaven

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"Take us to your inclusive leader."

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

"By labeling it, I control it."

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

Cleric with bible briefcase.

Pearly King and Queen

Collective Psyche

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

'Do you believe in reincarnation?' - 'I don't now, but I did when I was Napoleon.'

Before the riots/after the riots

Human Rights for All

social services cuts

Annual Mensa Convention: 'Ok, who's the genius who forgot to send out the invitations?'

'Eee,love - this place gives me a great idea for the spare bedroom!'

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

STRIP *Community Care * 'client empowerment' policy

God is for life not just for Christmas.

"I can't party like I used to, I've got enough Tupperware"

'On the other hand, you must never, ever work in mysterious ways.'

Jesus plays peek-a-boo with doubting Thomas.

'If you'll excuse me, my car is on fire.'