Faith Organizer Gifts

Organized Religion

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

A surprise in heaven

"Take us to your inclusive leader."

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

"By labeling it, I control it."

Pearly King and Queen

Cleric with bible briefcase.

I was thinking about the implications of your brave effort last week to unionize. I didn't really. I was role-playing. Whatever. Do you realize the demise of unions has coincided with a massive decline in the middle class? What? I'm helping chickens cross a road on my iPhone. I'm taking about the income gap! Talkin' 'Bout the Income Gap is sponsored by: The makers of signs, placards, and other protest equipment.

Collective Psyche

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

'Do you believe in reincarnation?' - 'I don't now, but I did when I was Napoleon.'

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

Before the riots/after the riots

The family picnic is at 5. Would you please boil the eggs, Twig? And Teddy? Go clean out the cooler! Oh! Grab the badminton set, too. Stop. Your little cousins will need entertaining! Leave it to mom � To take the independence out of Independence Day.

'Eee,love - this place gives me a great idea for the spare bedroom!'

Annual Mensa Convention: 'Ok, who's the genius who forgot to send out the invitations?'

Human Rights for All

"Sure, it's Good News, but is it fake news?"

social services cuts

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

'To be honest, it's a bit hard to swallow.'

STRIP *Community Care * 'client empowerment' policy

"I can't party like I used to, I've got enough Tupperware"

God is for life not just for Christmas.

'On the other hand, you must never, ever work in mysterious ways.'

'Why am I not surprised that this section is always the most disorganized?'