Faith-based Organization Worker Gifts

"I see that you work for one of those faith-based organizations."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

Cleric with bible briefcase.

A child interrupting family prayers

St. Elmo's fired.

Father

Clown Ministry Baptism Today

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

"Nice to see you replenishing the font with holy water vicar."

CCTV in church.

'Seriously Vicar, I do not think you have seen this guy in the morning service!'

Nun Binning the Devil

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

'That's GRAVEN images, not GRAVY images.'

'Dad, if God rested on the seventh day, who milked the cows?'

"It's a cup holder."

People bell ringing - 'RING TONES'

Church Restoration Fund.

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

'Today's sex text is the song of Solomon.'

"...And for anyone who forgot to bring something for the collection..."

'If the Lord had wanted us to use the metric system, there would have been ten apostles!'

'It's an innovative way to boost attendance.'

"Can you put some sunscreen on my ankles."

Industry and Idleness - The industrious apprentice performing the duty of a Christian.

Olympic Sabbath Torch.

"T.G.I.F."

'Ed here has some sort of problem with his membership on the visitation committee, Reverend.'

Baptism - "Actually he's quite looking forward to it."

'Don't be too hard on sinners. If it weren't for sinning, we'd all be out of work!'

"Son of God or not, no one comes to church dressed like that."

"For goodness sake brother. Haven't you finished that note to the milkman yet?"

"...and Lord, we thank You for blessing Farmer Finkel with an abundant bean harvest...and thus our new pews."

'Er... vicar - does the church have a position on the donation of GM vegetables for the Harvest Festival?'