Religious Worker Gifts

'Mr Bagley, I'm afraid there's rather more to being a bishop than having your own hat.'

"For goodness sake brother. Haven't you finished that note to the milkman yet?"

Monks don't get paid much, but there's a lot of 'upward mobility'.

Selling to the devil.

"Stick with Ted, he'll show you the ropes."

"And do please remember to visit our online confession service."

'It's unto thee.'

"Do you have a minute to talk about God?"

"Sister Maria has a bet every day...she has a habit!"

'I only joined because someone told me girls like men in uniform.'

'Jehovah's Lochness.'

Oh, crap! The Jehovah's Witnesses are back.

"Can you put some sunscreen on my ankles."

'We are a silent order. We request that you close the door in our faces quietly.'

"T.G.I.F."

St. Elmo's fired.

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

God Sneezes Out Creation

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

Golfing Bishop.

"All we have left is standing room only."

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

At the 2021 Religious Games

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

Priest

Cleric with bible briefcase.

A child interrupting family prayers

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."