Religious Personnel Gifts

'Answer me! It's your mother! Don't give me that vow of silence!'

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

A child interrupting family prayers

"Perhaps if you guys just swam along behind us for a while."

Bible Bloopers

St. Elmo's fired.

Noah's ark, many lions

"Perhaps more people would give heed unto the word of the Lord if the Lord had a funny blog."

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

"Wow, Jesus. That lesson rocked, someone should write this stuff down."

Nun Binning the Devil

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

"Are you sure it's okay for cardinals to live at a Protestant church?"

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

"Thou Shalt not Covid thy Neighbor's Wife!"

"Excuse me, Father...is the host gluten-free?"

Angels shopping in a store called "Heaven Pharmacy: Self-serve"

Moses/stranded shark

'Nobody's leaving till I get the offering plate back!'

"I like what you have here but the title seems a little pushy."

"Holy moly!"

"Good. I can hardly see your Catholic parents now."

Interfaith dialogue

"Did we get the line item veto?"

"T.G.I.F."

'You think you're pretty humble, don't you?'

If there were no religion...s

'Whoa Hold up, You need to get you hand stamped,'

'When we get to the promised land I never want to even see a piece of manna again for as long as I live.'

'Don't read the Book of Revelations yet -- it's full of spoilers.'

Computer literate Monk

"Can you put some sunscreen on my ankles."