Religious Staff Gifts

'Whoa Hold up, You need to get you hand stamped,'

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

Multi-tasking.

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

'These are job perks.'

In and Out Tray

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

Desk Boxes: 'In', 'Out', 'Could Go Either Way'.

"Whose idea was it to start with the Hallelujah chorus?"

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

Happy Birthday to you.

A child interrupting family prayers

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

Busy office.

Cleric with bible briefcase.

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

The role of administration.

Brainstorm in progress.

"I know — but he was nervous and his support dog didn’t seem to mind."

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

"We've combine the recovery area with the gift shop... just in case your visitors want to pick up a little souvenir."

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

St. Elmo's fired.

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

'Brains...brains...brains...'