Religious Workers Gifts

'Number 1 on my fave 5 is Dial-A-Prayer.'

A child interrupting family prayers

Robber counters victim's bible quotation with his own.

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"Whose idea was it to start with the Hallelujah chorus?"

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

Cleric with bible briefcase.

Bible Bloopers

Clown Ministry Baptism Today

"Perhaps if you guys just swam along behind us for a while."

Noah's ark, many lions

St. Elmo's fired.

"Wow, Jesus. That lesson rocked, someone should write this stuff down."

"Nice to see you replenishing the font with holy water vicar."

CCTV in church.

A likely story - lost his waterskis in a poker game !

'Seriously Vicar, I do not think you have seen this guy in the morning service!'

Nun Binning the Devil

The ten ammendments

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

'Dad, if God rested on the seventh day, who milked the cows?'

'That's GRAVEN images, not GRAVY images.'

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

"It's a cup holder."

Woman Bishop with vacuum cleaner. Vicar saying 'It's to appease the traditionalists.'

People bell ringing - 'RING TONES'

"Thou Shalt not Covid thy Neighbor's Wife!"

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

"...And for anyone who forgot to bring something for the collection..."

'If the Lord had wanted us to use the metric system, there would have been ten apostles!'

'Today's sex text is the song of Solomon.'

Moses/stranded shark