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'Mr Bagley, I'm afraid there's rather more to being a bishop than having your own hat.'

"For goodness sake brother. Haven't you finished that note to the milkman yet?"

Monks don't get paid much, but there's a lot of 'upward mobility'.

Selling to the devil.

"Stick with Ted, he'll show you the ropes."

"And do please remember to visit our online confession service."

'It's unto thee.'

"Do you have a minute to talk about God?"

"Sister Maria has a bet every day...she has a habit!"

'I only joined because someone told me girls like men in uniform.'

'Jehovah's Lochness.'

Oh, crap! The Jehovah's Witnesses are back.

"Can you put some sunscreen on my ankles."

'We are a silent order. We request that you close the door in our faces quietly.'

'Hello, Madame, we'd like to talk to you about cod...'

Bureau of Pursing Missions. They're in charge of financing missionary work.

"T.G.I.F."

St. Elmo's fired.

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

God Sneezes Out Creation

Golfing Bishop.

At the 2021 Religious Games

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"All we have left is standing room only."

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"