Prayer Leader Gifts

Bridgehampton Riding Academy

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Grace For Flies

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

God Sneezes Out Creation

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

Golfing Bishop.

"All we have left is standing room only."

At the 2021 Religious Games

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

Priest

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

A child interrupting family prayers

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

Cleric with bible briefcase.

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

"Then it's agreed. Judgment Day, whenever it comes, will fall on a Thursday, so that they'll get the long weekend."

'Minyan Man! You've saved the day again!'

Ten Commandments

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

How to spot the infrequent Mass attendees.

Monk Prompt

"I was saying a silent prayer, but I must have dozed off and talked in my sleep."