Prayer Group Members Gifts

A child interrupting family prayers

Grace For Flies

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

'Minyan Man! You've saved the day again!'

"Coronavirus, masks requirements, falling test scores, student violence - we need to be able to pray in school!"

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

"This might take awhile, Lord."

Praying mantis.

"Amen. Please help me up."

'The only way anyone gets in is on there knees.'

'When you pray, does God have call waiting?'

Saying Grace.

"My fellow mantises...I can barely believe this, but it has come to my attention that there is a lack of prayer in this church!"

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

'Lord, we thank thee for the bounty we're about to receive.'

"...and thank you for sending my guardian angel to protect me from that truck today..."

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

Why not get God's fax number, and just fax him my prayer?

'This is the one - we want you to pray for this one.'

"Look, don't 'Amen' me, and I won't 'Amen' you."

"Bob, you've been warned before. You can't come to prayer just to gather gossip material."

"And please let Alan Greenspan accept the things he cannot change, give him the courage to change the things he can and the wisdom to know the difference."

'Let's see,,, You're answering prayers until 9:30,, Your Armageddon meeting's been pushed to 2:00 and it looks like your speaking engagement in Mrs, Ingersol's head is postponed 'til Thursday,'

Chruch member about preacher: 'Pastor Woodsley has old fashioned power point.'

Is this Seat Taken?

Holy phone

'This is the Rabbi's favourite.'

And cut down on the praying if you want the housemaid's knee to go...

"If I ask you something, will you promise not to get mad?"

"I don't understand what people are saying up here."