Prayer Warriors Gifts

'...If you can't make me skinny, please make all of my friends fatter than me...'

"We are currently experiencing a high volume of calls but your prayer is important to us so please stay on the line and one of our ....."

"Prayer doesn't work that way, dear."

Tithe for Dial-A-Prayer

Grace For Flies

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

'Please make us instruments of Thy peace, starting with Bucky Sims.'

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

"We missed you at church Sunday."

Monk Prompt

"Coronavirus, masks requirements, falling test scores, student violence - we need to be able to pray in school!"

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

"I was saying a silent prayer, but I must have dozed off and talked in my sleep."

'Bless this food we are about to receive, all except the broccoli. Bless the apple pie twice.'

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

"Are our prayers answered whether we have an iphone or an android?"

Praying mantis.

'I'm just going to say my prayers. Any requests?'

Nun Binning the Devil

'I guess you've noticed that most of these trespasses are reruns.'

"I hope you don't mind, but I stuck in a little prayer for General Motors."

Kid praying: 'If it's okay with you, don't record this one.'

Child praying - asks god to bless his family and the new motorbike he's bought with his father's credit card.

"What do I click on after I say 'Amen'?"

'This is the one - we want you to pray for this one.'

"Bob, you've been warned before. You can't come to prayer just to gather gossip material."

Holy phone

'God Bless Momma, and Daddy and Fluffy...'

Man prays: 'Lord help me to be humble, and I want that by 10am Monday.'

And cut down on the praying if you want the housemaid's knee to go...

'This is the Rabbi's favourite.'

"You don't have to worry about using up your minutes."

"Say the whole prayer, none of this et cetera, et cetera..."