Prayer Warrior Gifts

"Say the whole prayer, none of this et cetera, et cetera..."

'Dear God, if there's a patron saint for car batteries...

'Bless this food we are about to receive, all except the broccoli. Bless the apple pie twice.'

Child praying - asks god to bless his family and the new motorbike he's bought with his father's credit card.

'I guess you've noticed that most of these trespasses are reruns.'

"Uh, oh - I never stopped."

Man prays: 'Lord help me to be humble, and I want that by 10am Monday.'

"ButI thought he was just praying without ceasing."

'By the way, the CEO job never materialized. I hope you're not losing your memory.'

Husband to kneeling wife: 'Praying for a snow day is great, Martha, except that we live in Boca Raton.'

'This is the one - we want you to pray for this one.'

Monk Prompt

"Just because you think someone is praying a long time does not give you the right and try to end it with a loud amen."

"What a day I've had...."

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

"If you're up there, Agnes, please find a way to send me the bank password!"

"You don't have to worry about using up your minutes."

"I was saying a silent prayer, but I must have dozed off and talked in my sleep."

"Are our prayers answered whether we have an iphone or an android?"

Prayer

Sunday Morning Prayer Breakfast

'Perhaps you need a more reverent prayer than, 'Come on, God, help me out.'

'And please protect that nice young man who volunteered to drive me to church each week after all, Lord, you know how he drives.'

'God Bless Momma, and Daddy and Fluffy...'

'Dear Lord, I really want to leave this island, but if it is your will, please send me a sign.'

'I'm just going to say my prayers. Any requests?'

Where a family should point to when it needs help.

'All communication devises must be turned off during take off, Reverend.'

'That was a short prayer, Grandpa. . . you must be really hungry.'

'...and if my taxes are cut, I promise to stimulate the economy.'

"It's not fair, mum. He just waits for me to finish, and then just says 'Ditto'."

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

'It's ridiculous we never have enough staff on a Sunday.'

"School just started...and Baldo's already asking for help."

The Force of Example.