Worship Leader Gifts

After finishing his 5 minute guitar riff, John realized the silence was due to his filling in on the traditional service worship team that particular Sunday morning.

"Just because you lead the worship team does not mean you can crowd surf on a Sunday morning."

"The new trend in worship services is replacing smoke machines with anti-virus fumigators."

The youth pastor and worship leader compete for the skinniest jeans award.

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"Home depot."

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

God Sneezes Out Creation

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

Golfing Bishop.

Sunbathing in Autumn

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

"All we have left is standing room only."

At the 2021 Religious Games

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

"Whose idea was it to start with the Hallelujah chorus?"

Cleric with bible briefcase.

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'