Church Leaders Gifts

Missionary Statement: Spread the Word.

Baptismal hot tub.

'I had to have my pacemaker readjusted since I asked Jesus into my heart.'

'To avoid possible schism, a period of careful reflection is needed before changing the light-bulb.'

'We're gonna skip the theatrics today and get right into the Word ...'

Benedict XVI Resigns.

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

Vatican Summit on Sexual Abuse

Butterfly Woman

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

"Women Supporting Women!"

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"He's not really much of a leader...he just has a lot of followers."

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

"I can motivate everyone except myself."

Leadership suits you

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

Go! Means NOW!

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"Who gave you permission to ask for a raise?"

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

God Sneezes Out Creation

The Ascent of Woman

"What was I thinking?!"

"My making two million a year, …. It doesn't make me seem 'Mannish', does it?"

Golfing Bishop.

"I was young and cocky because I wasn't aware of my shortcomings. Now I'm old and cocky because I can't remember what they are."

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'