Christian Leader Gifts

If Peter had only interpreted Jesus' words literally...

"My post only got one like, but it is from God."

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

Priest's 'To do' list.

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

"Home depot."

God Sneezes Out Creation

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

Golfing Bishop.

Early Piety

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

"All we have left is standing room only."

At the 2021 Religious Games

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

"Whose idea was it to start with the Hallelujah chorus?"

Priest