Pastoral Leader Gifts

The young Shepherd was determined to show the flock who was the boss!

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

"Staff support"

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

Ghostwriting the Bible

God Sneezes Out Creation

"Home depot."

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

Golfing Bishop.

Early Piety