Pastoral Leader Gifts

The young Shepherd was determined to show the flock who was the boss!

"Staff support"

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"Home depot."

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

God Sneezes Out Creation

Ghostwriting the Bible

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

The Apostle Paul receives a reply from the Corinthians.

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

Golfing Bishop.

Early Piety

Fishing with God