Pastoral Care Gifts

"Staff support"

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

Shepherd and eurydice

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

'...doomed...from here...to eter...nity...'

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.

"He was much more effective in the field."

'Sorry, pastor, your soul's grace period is eternity, your car's is six minutes.'

"Sinead?!"

Heaven's Ingredients: 100% Natural Love, 100% compassion and 100% forgiveness.

"What should I say this is about?"

"He keeps watching over our flock. I think it's a stalker."

It was the easy listening that the free range sausages seemed to find most soothing.

Ewe-topia - An imaginary perfect place where Ewes exist, their version of Utopia.

'I still love you - I just think we need some time away from each other.'

The young Shepherd was determined to show the flock who was the boss!

"Yes, Daisy, Buttercup and Violet: our farmer likes flowers. . ."

Extreme Sheepherding

The Antiquary

'You don't want to show favouritism Bruce-it upsets the others.'

'I don't understand. I haven't done anything to encourage them...'

'Yeah, they're neat tattoos, but they're only visible at shearing time each year...'

"See what we missed. . .? I told you that we should have gone to church yesterday!!"

"Don't you just want to stop and eat the flowers sometimes?"

"Gas prices have forced the pastor to economize."

Jesus in the 'Lost and Found'.

"Building fund not going well, Reverend?"

'The grass over in the meadow looks better. I wish somebody would lead off.'

"Jesus, walking on top of the water does not count as a bath."

"It's a working lunch."

"God, I hate cows."