Pastoral Comic Lover Gifts

"God, I hate cows."

Support group for sheep.

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

Summer in Elysium and The long vacation in Arcadia

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

"He was much more effective in the field."

"We’re trying to inject a little pastoralism into our lives."

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

'A WOMAN? -- Well, I'll be damned!'

"Ugh, I need to hide - he has a strict policy about workplace dating."

"Faith cannot be bought. We do, however, offer an attractive leasing option."

Money or no money, root of all evil?

'Go on and have fun, I'll keep an eye on him...'

"Let me see if I can get Him on speakerphone."

Beaten up man to Good Samaritan: 'Thank you. My insurance doesn't cover roadside service.'

Man on the way to Heaven worries about steps.

"Tell you what, Mark, when we write the gospels, better edit out that bit."

'Tell me about yourself. How long have you been dead?'

'If the election were being held today, would you vote for the stupid candidate or the evil candidate?'

'Could you straighten my little brother out? -- he has the Trinity mixed up with the Three Stooges.'

'Do you want to tell him or should I?'

"The way you kept yelling my name I thought you needed help!"

Sex and Violence....Hell and Brimstone.

Sheep dreaming of man jumping over fence

A Consideration Certainly

"Now think on - comb your hair and tuck your shirt in."

A cattle baron.

"Get ready...set...ruminate!"

"And now The Reverend Higgins will beat the love of God into each and every one of you."

'Sorry you can't come in. You're Boring.'

'You'll need a username and password to enter...'

Paradise

Jesus walks on water (with his dog Saul) "Jesus Christ, slow it down!"