Pastoral Humor Lover Gifts

"Get ready...set...ruminate!"

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

Support group for sheep.

"You call this a constitution?"

"I certainly trust this meal is kosher."

Dogma

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

Vicar wearing sunglasses.

'Please take your receipt!'

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

"I was kind of hoping just to tell them what they want to hear...."

Finger puppets in church.

'Turn the other cheek, reverend.'

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

Church restrooms

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

A woman in prayer

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

'Funny in my day they all looked like WInston Churchill.'

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

"He was much more effective in the field."

Minister Starts at a New Church

Om and Ommer

"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

'So long as he doesn't preach what he practices.'

'When I asked for your favourite Saint, I didn't think of someone like Michael Ballack, son.'