Pastoral Pun Lover Gifts

A cattle baron.

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

"Perhaps if you guys just swam along behind us for a while."

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

When Holy Cows Are Sent Out To 'Pastor'.

"Nice to see you replenishing the font with holy water vicar."

"He was much more effective in the field."

"We’re trying to inject a little pastoralism into our lives."

"Okay, now we're too domesticated."

'Nonsense! They can't All have headaches.'

'As it's Sunday there will be 30 minutes browsing before the service begins.'

"God, I hate cows."

'I just had to come over...You caught my eye.'

They're short of staff!

'Read about Samson & Delilah. . . Better yet - see a live demonstration.'

"Uh-oh!"

'Do you want to tell him or should I?'

Sheep dreaming of man jumping over fence

'Regarding my Sunday sermon which you typed up, Ms. Sims...it's not 'Saddam and Gomorrah'...'

A Consideration Certainly

Matthew, Mark, Luke and 'John'.

"Does he have bills to pay as well then..?"

My Day - Cow Today Magazine

"Get ready...set...ruminate!"

'He did it for us.'

"Hi Daddy! Mummy said to tell you she's gone to chew the cud next door with Daisy..."

"So, please, dig a little deeper and help us get rid of pop-up ads for good."

The last word in Alphabet Soup.

"The boss created paradise, he created us, why can't he create someone who can handle a lawnmower?!"

Discount Church Mart

'Mom got our cells mixed up again.'

'Dolores, cancel Mr. Rubin's transplant surgery. He's had a change of heart about his change of heart.'

Shepherd

Jesus really does save.