Prophetic Pun Lover Gifts

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'Let's see here... Mr. Stevens... it says you slipped in the tub and hit your head.'

"Perhaps if you guys just swam along behind us for a while."

"He refuses to use these now they've made them gender nonspecific."

"Think about the honey."

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

"He wants us to start calling him 'Head Honcho'."

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

Ghost Scare-apy Sessions

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

'And in conclusion...'

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

"Waiter, there aren't any flies in my soup!"

'My doctor wants me to watch what I eat, so I'm here for glasses.'

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."

'You give me goose bumps!'

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

Weather forecast

The static electric eel is very rare.

'It's for my teacher. Do you have one with love spelled right?'

'No, I said put the money in the Caymen Islands.'

"Remember I promised you some fun and games in the bedroom?"

A robber halds up a hair salon with a hairdryer pointed at the customers - 'Hand over all your hair restorer or I'll blow you away!'

Third eye

'As it's Sunday there will be 30 minutes browsing before the service begins.'

Pavement artist.

"Valentine's Day has been good to me, but I had to diversify."