Philosophical Pun Lover Gifts

''Guilty or not guilty'? -- Who are you, Aristotle?'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

"Your vocabulary is enlarged."

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

"Think about the honey."

"You've passed with extinction!"

A Brain Drain

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

'And in conclusion...'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

'Is there a God? God knows...'

Literate Dogs.

Hotness

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

'I collect a different type of oil painting.'

The static electric eel is very rare.

'My doctor wants me to watch what I eat, so I'm here for glasses.'

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

"Waiter, there aren't any flies in my soup!"

'You give me goose bumps!'

Larry's Literary Market.

Hell's Schlegel

'It's for my teacher. Do you have one with love spelled right?'

'We now have a drug to cure 'writer's block' but a common side effect is plagiaism.'

'No, I said put the money in the Caymen Islands.'

"Remember I promised you some fun and games in the bedroom?"

A robber halds up a hair salon with a hairdryer pointed at the customers - 'Hand over all your hair restorer or I'll blow you away!'

Pavement artist.