Literary Pun Lover Gifts

Hamlet, Chicken of Denmark: 'to cross, or not to cross'

"It's someone called Jude the Obscure, he says he wants his profile raised"

"And it's Moby Richard to you!"

"Eaten any good books lately...?"

Hotness

One of the books was un-red.

'Must be an Umberto Eco-town.'

Larry's Literary Market.

Hairy Potter.

What really frightened Miss Muffet away,

Literate Dogs.

Shakespeare originally wrote "Romeo and Juliet" as a comedy.

It says...'Speak friend, and run for cover!'

"We had him neutered,"

Library. Toss me that copy of "The Canterbury Tales." It's a flying Chaucer!

Ye Olde London Pub. I've got a great idea for a book about a London Street Urchin ... All I need is a good title for it. Olive or twist in your martini, Mr. Dickens?

Shakespeare at the Nursery. What's this "Hulthemia"? That's a rose by another name.

Gone with the Wind in the Willows

"Harry Potter and the chamber of obsolete electronics."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

"He refuses to use these now they've made them gender nonspecific."

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

"Think about the honey."

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

'Oil painting is fine, but I can't do watercolours, obviously...'

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

Ghost Scare-apy Sessions

I was starting a new chapter in my life and I tripped over a footnote.

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

No, that's "Virginia Wolf" with one "o."

'And in conclusion...'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"