Literary Pun Enthusiast Gifts

'Recommended reading' selection of books e.g.'Team spirit, by Geoffrey Boycott'

I was starting a new chapter in my life and I tripped over a footnote.

Publisher. We look the book, Mr. London --- But could we title it "The Call of the Wild" instead of "The Call of Nature"?

No, that's "Virginia Wolf" with one "o."

When I suggested you adopt a pen name, I didn't mean 'ball point'!

"We've been remaindered!"

Toupee? Or Not Toupee? That is the question?

Novelties: It was the best of ties, it was the worst of ties.

Hell's Schlegel

"If this is the rye you must be Katya."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

"He refuses to use these now they've made them gender nonspecific."

"Think about the honey."

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

Ghost Scare-apy Sessions

'Oil painting is fine, but I can't do watercolours, obviously...'

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

'And in conclusion...'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

Literate Dogs.

Oh, that's Humpy's girlfriend, "Hunky Dory."

"Do you have any marriage bread?"

Hotness

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

'I collect a different type of oil painting.'

Larry's Literary Market.

The static electric eel is very rare.