Funny Pun Enthusiast Gifts

'Just out of curiosity, sir, let's try Moses' Plumbing.'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

"Your vocabulary is enlarged."

"He refuses to use these now they've made them gender nonspecific."

"Think about the honey."

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

'Oil painting is fine, but I can't do watercolours, obviously...'

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

No, that's "Virginia Wolf" with one "o."

I was starting a new chapter in my life and I tripped over a footnote.

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

Ghost Scare-apy Sessions

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

Bell Hop

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

Museum of Mediocre Art.

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."

"Waiter, there aren't any flies in my soup!"

Weather forecast

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

The static electric eel is very rare.

'You give me goose bumps!'

Hell's Schlegel

'It's for my teacher. Do you have one with love spelled right?'

'No, I said put the money in the Caymen Islands.'

"Remember I promised you some fun and games in the bedroom?"

A robber halds up a hair salon with a hairdryer pointed at the customers - 'Hand over all your hair restorer or I'll blow you away!'

'It's as I feared: you have got a novel in you.'

No, he's not metamorphosing. He's in a time-out.