Clever Pun Lover Gifts

'Mr Campbell, complete the saying 'there's no smoke without...'' 'Mirrors.'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

"I have no thumbs."

"He refuses to use these now they've made them gender nonspecific."

"Think about the honey."

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

'Oil painting is fine, but I can't do watercolours, obviously...'

A Brain Drain

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

No, that's "Virginia Wolf" with one "o."

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

I was starting a new chapter in my life and I tripped over a footnote.

'And in conclusion...'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

Literate Dogs.

Hotness

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

'I collect a different type of oil painting.'

'You give me goose bumps!'

The static electric eel is very rare.

Larry's Literary Market.

"Waiter, there aren't any flies in my soup!"

Hell's Schlegel

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."

'Yes, of course they're prints.'

'It's for my teacher. Do you have one with love spelled right?'

'No, I said put the money in the Caymen Islands.'

"Remember I promised you some fun and games in the bedroom?"

A robber halds up a hair salon with a hairdryer pointed at the customers - 'Hand over all your hair restorer or I'll blow you away!'

Pavement artist.

I'm starting to think you keep working on that thing just to avoid talking to me.