Clever Pun Lover Pillows

'Mr Campbell, complete the saying 'there's no smoke without...'' 'Mirrors.'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"I have no thumbs."

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

"Think about the honey."

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

'Oil painting is fine, but I can't do watercolours, obviously...'

A Brain Drain

'And in conclusion...'

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

Literate Dogs.

Hotness

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

'I collect a different type of oil painting.'

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."

"Waiter, there aren't any flies in my soup!"

'Yes, of course they're prints.'

'You give me goose bumps!'

Larry's Literary Market.

The static electric eel is very rare.

Hell's Schlegel

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

'It's for my teacher. Do you have one with love spelled right?'

'No, I said put the money in the Caymen Islands.'

"Remember I promised you some fun and games in the bedroom?"

A robber halds up a hair salon with a hairdryer pointed at the customers - 'Hand over all your hair restorer or I'll blow you away!'

"Being a 'fly on the wall' is way overrated."