Playful Pun Lover Pillows

Sheep drinking 'Lamb Rusco' wine.

'Dolores, cancel Mr. Rubin's transplant surgery. He's had a change of heart about his change of heart.'

'Mom got our cells mixed up again.'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

"He refuses to use these now they've made them gender nonspecific."

"Think about the honey."

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

No, that's "Virginia Wolf" with one "o."

I was starting a new chapter in my life and I tripped over a footnote.

Ghost Scare-apy Sessions

'Oil painting is fine, but I can't do watercolours, obviously...'

'And in conclusion...'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

Literate Dogs.

Hotness

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

Museum of Mediocre Art.

'I collect a different type of oil painting.'

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

'You give me goose bumps!'

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."

"Waiter, there aren't any flies in my soup!"

The static electric eel is very rare.

Weather forecast

Larry's Literary Market.

Hell's Schlegel

'It's for my teacher. Do you have one with love spelled right?'