Playful Pun Lovers Pillows

"It's nothing serious...just a flooded engine."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

"He refuses to use these now they've made them gender nonspecific."

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

Ghost Scare-apy Sessions

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

'Oil painting is fine, but I can't do watercolours, obviously...'

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

"Extreme? Maybe. But I have the best behaved school in the district."

'According to his will, Tiddles left the bulk of his estate to himself. Because, he still has eight lives left.'

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

Museum of Mediocre Art.

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

'You give me goose bumps!'

Weather forecast

"Your four-o'clock is here."

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."

"Waiter, there aren't any flies in my soup!"

The static electric eel is very rare.

It's not a stampede … It's a flash mob!

'It's for my teacher. Do you have one with love spelled right?'

'No, I said put the money in the Caymen Islands.'

"Remember I promised you some fun and games in the bedroom?"

A robber halds up a hair salon with a hairdryer pointed at the customers - 'Hand over all your hair restorer or I'll blow you away!'

I'm starting to think you keep working on that thing just to avoid talking to me.

Scents and Scentsibility. Jane Austen.

"Being a 'fly on the wall' is way overrated."

"Valentine's Day has been good to me, but I had to diversify."