Lovers Of Puns Pillows

'There's a gentleman here for a cleaning, Doctor. It's unclear whose.'

"I love our little on-line chats!"

Sago Masochism

'And when they were only half the way up they were neither up nor down!'

'I had swine flu but now I am cured.'

'Got one in English?'

"Uh-oh!"

THE FART HEARD ROUND THE WORLD

'I asked her what the ingredients are in the soup. She said 'consonants and vowels'.'

"I'm gonna have to let him go - that's the third time this week he's had skywriter's block!"

Headless Man

"Ugh...I hate tailgators."

"Don't believe a word he says: He's a bull shark..."

"You want mechanical engineering down the hall. This is maniacal engineering."

"Are you a blowfish, or did you just hold a sneeze?"

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"He refuses to use these now they've made them gender nonspecific."

"Think about the honey."

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

I was starting a new chapter in my life and I tripped over a footnote.

No, that's "Virginia Wolf" with one "o."

Ghost Scare-apy Sessions

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

'And in conclusion...'

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

Literate Dogs.

Hotness

'According to his will, Tiddles left the bulk of his estate to himself. Because, he still has eight lives left.'

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

'You give me goose bumps!'