Profound Pun Lover Pillows

'You can ruin the present worrying about how the past will affect the future.'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

"Think about the honey."

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

I came, I saw, I partied!

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

'Oil painting is fine, but I can't do watercolours, obviously...'

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

'And in conclusion...'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

Hotness

Literate Dogs.

'According to his will, Tiddles left the bulk of his estate to himself. Because, he still has eight lives left.'

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

'I collect a different type of oil painting.'

'You give me goose bumps!'

"Your four-o'clock is here."

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

Larry's Literary Market.

'I can't help you, it seems you really are npsycuts!'

The static electric eel is very rare.

"Waiter, there aren't any flies in my soup!"

Weather forecast

Hell's Schlegel

'It's for my teacher. Do you have one with love spelled right?'