Clever Pun Enthusiast Pillows

'We're sending Barb's grandson a birthday card for his 11th. . . should we put eleven dollars in the card?'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

"I have no thumbs."

"Your vocabulary is enlarged."

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

"Think about the honey."

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

'Oil painting is fine, but I can't do watercolours, obviously...'

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

Museum of Mediocre Art.

'I collect a different type of oil painting.'

Weather forecast

'You give me goose bumps!'

The static electric eel is very rare.

Hell's Schlegel

'Yes, of course they're prints.'

"Waiter, there aren't any flies in my soup!"

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."

'It's for my teacher. Do you have one with love spelled right?'

'No, I said put the money in the Caymen Islands.'

"Remember I promised you some fun and games in the bedroom?"

A robber halds up a hair salon with a hairdryer pointed at the customers - 'Hand over all your hair restorer or I'll blow you away!'