Quirky Pun Enthusiast Gifts

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

Man Eater

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

"Why the gumboots? Well, I can't stand slimy things touching my feet..."

"Your vocabulary is enlarged."

"He refuses to use these now they've made them gender nonspecific."

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

Jars containing a Brain and a Brain Fart.

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

"Think about the honey."

"Doc, you'll be glad to know I'm comfortable in my own skin today. I shed my old in the reception room."

'Oi! You threw that on Porpoise!'

The Frankenstein snowman.

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

'The meat of their order is coming up.'

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

'Oil painting is fine, but I can't do watercolours, obviously...'

A Brain Drain

"I hope he's wearing pants."

Tasty.

'With this organ transplant, you may find yourself doing a lot of thinking with your heart,'

No, that's "Virginia Wolf" with one "o."

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

Ghost Scare-apy Sessions

I was starting a new chapter in my life and I tripped over a footnote.

Snorkeling: A Dollar A Minute

'And in conclusion...'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."